While I didn't originally intended to do so, I am totally steering off in the vegan direction.
So far, eating no meat and dairy is easy on my stomach- and physically I feel fantastic! I feel much better by focusing on getting good organic foods instead of some supermarket whatevers.

Plus, a vegan lunch is fucking amazing, and so easy to put together!




This is some japanese noodles plus cashew nuts plus sprouts plus smoked tofu (it isn't expensive at all,I used just 1/3, or less, of the things i bought) all in soy sauce. Plus avocado.Yum!

day nine? no...

Here I am, sipping on a pu erh tea, nibbling on some whole wheat pasta with maple syrup.
Last night, after such a sucessfull (fasting-wise) day, I was in my bed fighting with hunger and restlessness. How come? I don't know, falling asleep was all so easy all week, and without hunger. And then I started dozing off...and woke up in the kitchen, chewing on the cake! The second or third bite sobered me up, but I took another bite, and another, quickly starting to wrap up the situation.
I actually tried to vomit the food, but my stomach seemed to have digested it withing a minute or so, it didn't wanna let it go.
I looked outside- all covered in while snow. I was freezing, as I mentioned previously...and I decided to stop the fast. It's not how I planned, I wanted to break it gradually, not with a bloody cake. But my tongue was nice and almost without any coating, which is supposed to be a testimonial to the detoxification process... In the end, I think, for me the most important part starts now. My goals are:

• not to eat any unplanned quick meals. no eating cookies in between meals!

• not to eat meat- that will be a great adventure. I quite like the taste of good meat, but it's not my childhood anymore, when I used to eat animals that my family in the country had- those were animals that had rather nice lives, they could spend their whole time outside, they were taken care of, etc etc. You had a bond with them, and eating your favorite bunny is quite a thing to remember, especially when you learned that a week after the said consumption. The mix of love and care and cruelty seemed to be a concept much easier to grasp, unlike the trip-to-the-supermarket-to-buy-farm-meat-of-stressed-animals-killed-en-masse-which-doesn't-even-taste that-well.

So, vegetarianism with hints of vegan, maybe one day I find reasons and will be organized good enough to follow that kinda lifestyle.
Also,

• I am cutting down the tranquilizers, antidepressants (hopefully I became enough of a happy person this year, I worked on that very intently and dilligently!)

• Every day i want to do minimum 40 minutes of yoga and pilates.

I also want to recycle and grow my own sprouts and bake my own bread and cook a lot of nice soups. And if sweets- good quality chocolate, high in %, or homemade cookies, not so saturated with fat and sugar.


Sounds like a plan and is enough of an adventure to get me excited and motivated! Bloody hooray, I AM HAVING A GREAT DAY just right now, and that's how it will stay. Now I'll get my hair did and off into the snow, city arrangements are much more fun if it's all white and the air is crisp.

MC - day 8

this was such an amazing day. not that i wasn't grumpy and a little mean, but in exchange i offered the world a cake. of course now everyone left and i sit here with some of that delicious cake left, and it screams my name, the little twat! my brain started rationalizing the whole MC experience to me, to the point of where i had to force myself into a warm bath to think EVERYTHING over. all i can promise right now is to stick to the fast till the morning.

----


It's white outside, and freezing! At least I am freezing- the lack of calories and the lemons, who are certainly very refreshing but not warming at all (apples are a 'warm' fruit. i wonder if there could be an apple cleanse, why not? just it would be a bit more of a bother to squeeze the juice out. Apples and cinnamon- the winter edition of the master cleanse- that would be DREAMY). I am planning getting some good chocolate to make nice chili hot chocolate later on this month. I'll post the recipe sometime soon.
Also, as a little present to myself I plan on making sushi for friends this week. It will be a healthy nice treat to look forward to after the cleanse (I'm quite certain I am not gonna push this over the 10 days. Enough is enough, time to eat good stuff in reasonable amounts!)


And a nice, simple little random and cheeky quote for a good finale:
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten." Hell yeah!

7th day

Today I woke up, for the second time, convinced that I should quit the master cleanse. I look a bit gauntly, and despite the enthusiastic things I've read about the energy levels going up when you're on the cleanse I am weary and irritated almost all the time.
But then I just swallowed the salty water and decided to stop thinking and just go on with the day, trying to be cheerful no matter what. And it worked!

As promised by the MC, I have weird pains all over my body. On the right side under my ribs my stomach feels weird and painful. I'd assume it's my liver, but who knows...I hope it's a symptom of detoxing.
Also, I am slimmer, my stomach starts looking really nice (and my butt and thighs)- I do yoga and pilates for quite a while now, so it all seems so much more toned than 7 days ago.

But I love food so much! I was hoping my desire for food would subside more easily, as I've read around on the internet... But I really really love food and the taste, and when give the nice freshly baked bread with butter to my babeey I smell it...and cry inside a little. Or even a bit more.

But, today, after the disastrous yesterday, is really all right!

------

ETA:

I made a mistake! I thought it won't be a big waste if I bite on a sweet bun and spit it out after a couple of seconds. Yeah it was fun while I chewed, but appearently my stomach caught a whiff of food and started to groan and rumble! Oh wey, what a funny evening it will be now, HUNGRY.
And this after all the resistance of goods of today! Namely, I visited my grandmother... And as all know, grandmothers not only make the best food ever, but they also cannot believe if you don't want to eat. They almost force feed you, right? So after explaining three times that I'm kinda fasting, she still asked me: "will you eat the carrots?" and "will you eat that cake?".
The rest of the family didn't help either - they couldn't stop marvelling at the perfect...ness of the dumplings in the tomato soup. Which smelled so deliciously! ...and also, I was taking care- of course- of my babe, so when he was insiting on eating alone he spilled some of the soup.It landed on my fingers and I had to kill the reflex of licking them, well it was quite a fight. I was so exhausted by all that resisting temptations that I seemingly used up all my maple calories and got so cold, I spent the rest of the visit laying next to the radiator.

----

On a good note, as promised, my lungs hurt and my nose is gooey and stuffed so I take it as a sign of detoxification. My throat is hurting as well, as do my lymph nodes. I was prepared for that, so I am really ok with that.
My tongue, after a day or two of looking unkisseable starts showing pinkness. Awesome.

AND
I am down a size, my new pants don't fit and fall off my ass.

*but my teeth are sensitive, NOT YAY*

random good thought

Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts, By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the laws of thought, and understands with ever-increasing accuracy, how the thought forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of his character, circumstances, and destiny.

James Allen

number one

What a day!
I'm just finishing day six of the master cleanse fast. And it ain't easy, that one is sure- I'm fighting great forces of evil, and that means not only my food addiction, the toxins, (and the bit of fat! but shh, it's too obvious) but also the mind patterns. It all comes down to years of being too busy with unimportant stuff to really take care of
being nice to others
being nice to myself
and not wasting...my or anyone's time on whining about things to do, the weight, etc.

But today! It is way to overwhelming to change so manny patterns at once. More than once I wanted to quick my pursuits, but that would make me even more angry with myself. So I will keep this blog now, to post my progress- I'm profoundly dedicated to making some- in finding lots of inner serenity, happiness and being good to people and things around. I want to have it handy as a list of things I want to remember of, and easily keep track of my healthy-life ideas.
Cheers! Off to my nice bed with tummy a'rumbling.