day nine? no...

Here I am, sipping on a pu erh tea, nibbling on some whole wheat pasta with maple syrup.
Last night, after such a sucessfull (fasting-wise) day, I was in my bed fighting with hunger and restlessness. How come? I don't know, falling asleep was all so easy all week, and without hunger. And then I started dozing off...and woke up in the kitchen, chewing on the cake! The second or third bite sobered me up, but I took another bite, and another, quickly starting to wrap up the situation.
I actually tried to vomit the food, but my stomach seemed to have digested it withing a minute or so, it didn't wanna let it go.
I looked outside- all covered in while snow. I was freezing, as I mentioned previously...and I decided to stop the fast. It's not how I planned, I wanted to break it gradually, not with a bloody cake. But my tongue was nice and almost without any coating, which is supposed to be a testimonial to the detoxification process... In the end, I think, for me the most important part starts now. My goals are:

• not to eat any unplanned quick meals. no eating cookies in between meals!

• not to eat meat- that will be a great adventure. I quite like the taste of good meat, but it's not my childhood anymore, when I used to eat animals that my family in the country had- those were animals that had rather nice lives, they could spend their whole time outside, they were taken care of, etc etc. You had a bond with them, and eating your favorite bunny is quite a thing to remember, especially when you learned that a week after the said consumption. The mix of love and care and cruelty seemed to be a concept much easier to grasp, unlike the trip-to-the-supermarket-to-buy-farm-meat-of-stressed-animals-killed-en-masse-which-doesn't-even-taste that-well.

So, vegetarianism with hints of vegan, maybe one day I find reasons and will be organized good enough to follow that kinda lifestyle.
Also,

• I am cutting down the tranquilizers, antidepressants (hopefully I became enough of a happy person this year, I worked on that very intently and dilligently!)

• Every day i want to do minimum 40 minutes of yoga and pilates.

I also want to recycle and grow my own sprouts and bake my own bread and cook a lot of nice soups. And if sweets- good quality chocolate, high in %, or homemade cookies, not so saturated with fat and sugar.


Sounds like a plan and is enough of an adventure to get me excited and motivated! Bloody hooray, I AM HAVING A GREAT DAY just right now, and that's how it will stay. Now I'll get my hair did and off into the snow, city arrangements are much more fun if it's all white and the air is crisp.